Dating

Is it Possible to be Friends with an Ex

For years people have believed it is the mature and adult thing to do for two people to try and remain friends with an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend. I believe many people do this because they are afraid to completely let go and no longer allow space for that person in their life because during a period of time, they both meant a lot to one another. Now that that time is over and you are both moving on or have already moved on, what is the point of staying in touch and keeping this person close to you?

If you are someone who has tried this approach, how is this working for you? Is your significant other okay with it? Is their significant other okay with it? What is the reason you want to continue a friendship with your ex?

In my experience being friends with an ex has never turned out to be a great idea. How does one have a friendship with someone they use to have a romantic and intimate relationship with without feeling a bit uncomfortable around them after the relationship is over and you’ve both moved on or are trying to move on? I believe the only exception to even trying to make this sort of thing work is if you are co-parenting or have to work together. If there is no other reason the two of you need to be in communication then may I suggest you let go and completely move on.

If you’re contemplating being friends with an ex, ask yourself some important questions before reaching that decision.

Are you being respectful of your significant other’s feelings toward the situation? Are you staying friends for your own selfish ambitions to feed your ego by getting attention on the side? Be clear on what your reason is because your explination alone will help you determine whether or not this is actually a good idea. Again, doesn’t usually end well.

If your partner does not approve of this friendship, you must cut ties with your ex and respect your partner’s wishes, if you want to continue to have a healthy relationship. If your partner is okay with the friendship and is honest about it not being a problem for them then go ahead and continue the friendship while maintaining proper boundaries so it does not affect your current relationship.

Here are 5 valuable reasons being friends with an ex is not an good idea.

  1. The friendship usually means something different to each person. One of you usually wants something more or less.
  2. A casual relationship with someone you use to date never ends well. Someone ends up getting hurt.
  3. There is typical a lack of mutual respect due to the imbalance of both parties seeing the friendship the same way.
  4. If or when one of you starts seeing someone new there will be ans excessive amount of jealously which will also create insecurities you don’t need or deserve to feel.
  5. Your relationship was romantic, therefore those feelings are too likely to arise from beneath the surface, causing a risky situation for even attempting to be “just friends.”

Leave your comments or questions below.

    

2 Responses to “Is it Possible to be Friends with an Ex”

  1. I’ve been friends with most of my exes because you realize there is no reason not to? Both parties must want the friendship and nurture it carefully. Sometimes it is too painful to be friends until the emotional ties more on. It comes with age and wisdom that it is possible with some and not others. All depends on the two people involved.

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