What makes a healthy relationship? How can two people achieve this incredibly rewarding and fulfilling union? What tools do you need in a relationship to withstand anything that comes your way?
These are a few questions that many of us ask ourselves when attempting to build a strong union with our other half.
Let me just tell you that it is not as easy as we want it to be. That is something you must know from the start. It is going to take time, work, and honest dedication in order to build a happy and healthy relationship.
Unfortunately, there is more to it than just simply loving each other.
We have all loved another person so deeply at one point in our lives and that love ended up breaking us into pieces, because not only were we so entirely wrong for each other- we torn each other apart, disrespected one another, and did very little to try and understand one another. All of these things are a recipe for disaster.
You can avoid that the next time around by following these 10 simple tips to build a happy and healthy relationship with your partner.
1. Respect the needs of your other half
Know what your partner wants in life. Ask them questions every single day to be sure they are getting what they want. Giving is always more rewarding than receiving, and your partner will be infused with gratitude when you come home with flowers, or by writing sweet little notes, running errands so they don’t have to, making dinner, and yes- fulfilling their desires in the bedroom.
Put their needs before your own, without letting yourself go of course.
2. Never compare one another to a past relationship
It is so completely unfair to ever measure your partner up with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Do not even bring it up. I can promise you that they do not want to hear a peep about your ex, ever. Your partner should never feel like they don’t add up to your ex, or have any kind insecurities that are caused by the talk of your person you used to be with before they came along.
3. Trust your partner without an ounce of doubt
Trust is everything. It determines how we treat one another. If you do not trust your partner they will know it instantly, because of the way you treat them- which is everything. You are more likely to be rude, snappy, on guard, and accuse them of things when you feel like they are betraying you in some way.
Regardless of whether or not they are lying, cheating, stealing from you or betraying you in some way it is important not to assume anything until you know 100% what the heck is going on.
4. Be kind and gentle with one another
The way we speak to one another is very important. It’s crucial that you use your words carefully and not lash out at your partner in times of stress, confusion, or heated arguments. If there is something bothering you, try your best to remain calm and communicate clearly with them when you are not worked up and feel like your blood has turned to hot lava.
If you truly love the person you are with you will want nothing more than to see them happy. Yelling at them and using harsh words will not make them happy. I can promise you that.
Avoid ignoring them at any point of the day. Be sure you check in with them to see how their day is going and ask questions to show you care.
5. Never go to sleep mad at one another
Resolve your issues before you fall asleep. Swallow your pride and come to an agreement by the end of the night. Nothing is ever worth being dragged out for any length of time when it can be discussed and worked out before the day is over. You will both sleep better and wake up feeling much better than you would if you had some huge blowout and feel asleep angry, crying, and/or extremely upset with one another.
6a. Stick to your plans
Don’t flake out on your partner. If you say you’re going to do something or be somewhere on a certain day- stick to it. If something comes up and you need to change your plans- communicate the situation. If you’re tired and had a long day at work- talk to your partner and figure something else out.
6b. Keep your word
If you do not intend on following through with something don’t bother even mentioning it.
7. Fall back on one another
When you are going through a difficult situation- lean on your partner. Seek refuge through each other. Be each other’s peacemakers and stress relievers.
8. Be supportive
Show your support in every aspect of your partner’s life. This does not mean that you have to agree with everything they do or say, but if it is something that brings them joy, such as a hobby, or their career choice, then respect it.
9a. Make the time spent together meaningful
You don’t want to wake up the next day and regret anything in life, especially the time we get to spend with those we care about so much. Try your best to snap out of whatever crappy mood you are before you head out on a date with your partner. Time is something we never get back. Always try to make the very most of it, because these are the times you will reflect back on and remember in the days/years to come.
9b. Don’t interrupt each other
Sure it’s a total, “DUH!” but some people have quite a bit of trouble with this. Remember when your elementary school teacher would tell you to wait your turn to speak? The same goes for your adult life too and more importantly in your private life.
The truth is that if you don’t listen, they will find someone else who will and you don’t want that- nor does your partner. Whatever they have to say is important to them so be sure you make it known that it is important to you as well.
10. Know that a serious, healthy, and happy relationship is a PARTNERSHIP.
Two people are in the relationship. If you have come this far to accept that you two are a couple, then you must also realize that this is now a partnership. That means that everything you do now affects the other person. You must think of the both of you. It’s not just you anymore. If you want that to be the case, then you should break up with the person and be single.
Photo via We Heart It