Okay. That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve heard enough.
Day after day I hear my friends and online connections whining about the struggle to find a husband. Sure, at times I have a weak moment and do the same, but come on ladies! Let’s pull it together. If you haven’t met THE ONE yet, it is not the end of the world. There is a lot more to life than finding your husband. Are you forgetting the freedom you have as a strong, single woman? Come on. There is so much life out there to be lived and you’re sitting around, hunched over wondering when you will meet your husband. Life is going to pass you by and you’re going to miss out on all the great opportunities flying right by you. Sitting around texting your current or ex boyfriend trying to get them to understand your point of view about something they will never agree with or come to see clearly is a complete waste of your precious time on this earth.
Dating should be fun. It should also be a learning experience in which self-discovery is not confined by the outcome. It should come with little to no pressure.
Are you listening?
The truth is until you fully love and accept yourself for who YOU are you will never be in the right element to attract or be with your perfect match. This is something you must master before you can even begin to welcome someone into your life. Why? Because until you love yourself and truly accept the person you are, you will attract and allow those who are not right for you and wonder why things seem so unbalanced or out of place.
I have so many friends who are obsessed with dating sites, questioning every dyer move a man makes trying to figure out whether or not they are the one, or why they just aren’t that into them. It will continue to be a revolving battle until you stop, look within yourself, seek deep and figure out what it is that continues to attract the wrong people into your life, or why you desperately seek attention when their approval should never matter.
This is a serious issue many women (and men too) face– we chase attention from others to feel validated when we are perfectly acceptable just the way we are. It’s when we act out and make desperate choices to create some attention towards ourselves just to feel a little better. But does it? Does it make you feel better when you lower your standards to receive attention from someone who’s not worthwhile of your body, soul, or mind? Going out of your ways to try and make someone fall in love with you is never a good way to go. Love should always come naturally.
Your time is an investment. The choices we make with that time can be a matter of life or death. So why do we obsess about finding something that has not come our way? Why do we seek out attention, love, or affection from anyone who will give it to us just to feel like we are worthy? There is a major problem if this is what you’re doing and maybe talking to a therapist or getting professional help would be very beneficial. Talking to your friends is great, but they are probably tired of hearing you complain about the same ol things, taking none of their advise, and continuing down your own miserable road of confusion.
I am not saying for a second that I am perfect and you all who are reading this are wrecked. No. I am damaged. I have been broken. I have been lost more than any of you might be able to imagine. I have allowed some terrible things happen to me, because I used to have low self-esteem. Yes, I was weak and I still have my painfully lonely moments.
Don’t get me wrong, wanting to get married, have companionship, and live happily ever after is not a bad thing. It’s natural. The problem is that many of us don’t take time to love ourselves and enjoy life along the way until we collide with that perfect soul who we will spend our lives with. It takes time. It takes self-care, it takes confidence, and believing in yourself– that you are a strong, worthy, and beautiful soul who deserves honest love without question.
Not all of us are meant to get married at 25. Geesh, some of us aren’t meant to get married until 35, or 40, or heck maybe 50. Get over it. If you have not met the right person yet, ITS OKAY. Be patient. The time will come, or maybe it won’t. Why stress about it? Life is short. Enjoy every moment you have whether you have someone to love, or not. There are so many things to be thankful for and gifts you’ve been blessed with. Stop taking it all for granted and not putting your talents to use.
Go out there today and enjoy the fresh air. Embrace your freedom. Read a book. Turn up the music. Clean the house. Go workout. Shower. Put some makeup on. Put on some fresh clothes. Take care of yourself and please for the love of all that’s good, stop obsessing about finding a husband. YOU are all you need. When your time comes to link up with that perfect match, you will know and it will be perfect.
Image via We Heart It