Dating

Tips for Getting Through Your Breakup

It hurts we know. It’s like the worst pain you’ve ever felt, we know. You don’t understand how someone who once told you every day how much they loved you could turn around and be so cold. You sent him 20 text messages but no reply and you don’t understand why. You are so confused and anxiety keeps you up late at night. If you are someone who has been lucky enough to have your heartbroken by some cold-hearted soul, be thankful. This experience is going to make you stronger, wiser, and more cautious moving forward. This broken heart of yours is a blessing you have yet to comprehend.

large

 

These 4 tips are going to help you get through this breakup. You can thank me later.

1. STOP talking to him/her altogether. No excuses. 

I know it’s not easy to break the attachment you have on this person. You are so used to communicating with them even if you two are arguing. It’s going to be tough to break the routine and distance yourself from this person but it is the most important part to the entire breakup process. My advice is to get whatever “closure” you think you need then be done. Make it clear to the other person (without blowing their phone up) that door to communication between the two of you is officially closed. That’s it. Be bold. Be brave. Be done speaking to them.

After the two of you have broken up and have both made it clear this relationship is not going to work, regardless of how hurt you are, your emotions are still deeply involved and this can be dangerous. When we continue to communicate with the one we just broke up with and our heart is weak and our emotions are all out of whack, we are easily manipulated and this only leads to more confusion and misery. Do not play the victim, but accept the fact that it’s over and you need to take the proper steps in detaching yourself from this toxic person who will do whatever it takes to make you feel bad about what will seriously be the most random idiotic things. Do not listen to them during this time. Try your best to block out all of your ex’s guilt trips and manipulation during this difficult time.

Tip: Try to end things on the best possible terms to keep a little peace of mind for your own sake.

large

2. Get busy

– Write down a to do list every night for the next day. Have a few things on that list that you need to get done. It doesn’t have to be anything big. In fact, it’s better to keep the list simple.

– Pick up a new book. My advice on this is to find an interesting new novel to read instead of a self-help book that’s going to have you thinking about relationships and all kinds of other nonsense you really don’t need now. Get caught up in a story that takes you away to a place where your heart doesn’t ache, your mind doesn’t race, and your tears do not fall over loss and sadness.

– Keep your friends in your weekly schedule. It’s good set aside time to run around with your best pals even if that means tagging along with them while they run errands. Do not sit at home and mope all day long; you will only drive yourself crazy and will probably break rule numbre uno (no speaking to the ex). Talk to your friends about everything that’s running through your mind but don’t forget to be respectful of their time too. Even though they want to help you and they will give you plenty of advice and encouragement, be mindful of their personal responsibilities and obligations. At the end of the day you will need to pick yourself up and pull yourself together on your own. Your friends will be there to help push you along, but only you can be the one who puts one foot in front of the other. So get your walk on. You’re tough and you can do this!

– Join a gym. Get active and break a sweat. I’m telling you that this is one of the best methods of therapy you can ever treat yourself to. Not only will you improve your overall appearance, your body will release endorphins into your body that will help make you feel GOOD.

 

3. Write in a journal

Seeing your thoughts and ideas as you draw them out as words on paper is a really good way of processing everything you’re experiencing. Try to write every day even if it’s only a few words, a few sentences, just write. As time goes by and the more you jot down your experiences (good and bad) you will look back as time passes and see how far you have come. The trick is to stay present. Looking back and only writing about the past isn’t going to help you dream and plan for the future. Stay present.

large

 

4. Avoid drugs and alcohol

Do not try to cover up the pain by intoxicating your blood stream. The most important reason being that you will most certainly break rule numbre uno due to the easy access of drunk texting and that is just a very dangerous regret you should avoid at all costs.

It is important that you learn to feel everything.  That is how you will grow and be able to take on bigger challenges in the days to come. By avoiding the use of drugs and alcohol, you will not only wake up with less regret and spend less time feeling like shizbots (my word- you can use it if you want) you will save money and keep the door open to good decision-making.

5. Read “It’s a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” 

Don’t ask me why, just read it, and you will figure it out.

6a00c2252675128e1d00fae8bf1aa4000b-500pi

“It’s an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN’T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life. Because you love yourself, and even if you don’t right now, WE DO. So put the (insert vice here) and start moving on.”
Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy  

“In retrospect, I’m embarrassed by how little effort on his part it took for me to come back or stay. I was so desperate for him to love me, to want me, to fight for me that I was literally grateful for any mere scrap of effort. I’d made so many excuses for his inability to treat me well that even the smallest gesture was amplified in my head. After years of this, I finally got my head out of my ass and realized that aside from feeling insecure and fragile about the state of my relationship all the time, we also wanted entirely different things out of life!”
Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy 

“There was no closure to be had, just jail time in my head. What’s he doing? What’s he thinking? Does he still love me? Does he love her more? Is he thinking that he made a mistake? It doesn’t matter, because the cold hard truth was that he didn’t love me enough to want to be with me. It took me a while, but I ultimately realized that I had to physically separate myself from all the things that were keeping me stuck inside my obsessive mind.”
Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy 

 

6. Move

If you know the relationship is over and you don’t want to run into the person everywhere you go, your best bet is to pack your things and move. It doesn’t need to be far. Even the next town over will do.

 

That’s all I have for now. If you have questions, send them my way!

 

 

Images via We Heart It 

 

 

Name (required)

E-Mail (required)

Message

    

One Response to “Tips for Getting Through Your Breakup”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.