Have you ever been in a relationship with someone or met someone you were totally into, you hit it off great, and then BAM they were gone, or they were less engaged and distant? You probably have. We have all dealt with similar situations when it has come to dating. Wouldn’t you love it if men would just tell us straight where we went wrong and what to avoid doing in the future?
Ok, so here’s the deal, I asked five different men what the top 2 things are that make them run for the hills. Some of the findings on this subject matter may come to no shock to you (and we do them anyways, even when we know better) but some will and we all need to stop it, now.
1. Insecurity/ lack of confidence
Any respectable male will ensure you the importance to having a healthy amount of confidence. When you are insecure and question every little move your man makes, you will begin to piss him off and push him away. He just might have some pretty girlfriends or get a lot of attention from women because your man is such a babe, and sometimes it makes you uncomfortable because you don’t feel like you are as pretty or funny. He might lose fifty pounds and become so smoking hot and confident, but it may make you feel insecure and unsure if he will want you anymore now that he’s cut and trim. Maybe he achieved great success recently or a big job promotion, and you are scared he will leave you now for someone more successful than you are.
The bottom line is you need to feel secure about yourself before you wind up with anyone. Feeling beautiful in your skin is a MUST! Men do not want to deal with your insecurities. As women, we need to support our men and encourage them in their successes and happiness.
If the man himself makes you feel insecure and talks down to you or makes you feel less than what you are. That is abuse, and you should not be with anyone who makes you feel less than amazing.
2. Motivation at an all-time low
Please do not tell me you are one of those girls who sit around in pink sweats and refuse to do anything. Where did your motivation go? Why are you so tired all of the time? Are you depressed? Talk it out. Go outside. Run around a bit. Men are attracted to women who have the motivation and like to be active. I couldn’t agree more. I’m not sure what would be attractive about someone being lazy and crabby all the time.
3. Talking about your ex
Why? Like why are you talking about your ex? You are with this new, brilliant, handsome and fun-loving guy who is excited to spend time with you and pay for dinners out on the town. Why are you talking about that rat you left behind in the past? Why are you bringing him up? Just stop. Your new beau does not want to hear about the other guy(s) you dated. They do not want to feel like they are being compared to anyone on any level. If you are not over your ex you need to be single, take some to get over all that. Throw that rearview mirror in the dust.
4. Overly emotional and dramatic
Drama. Drama. Drama. Ain’t nobody got time for that, woman! Just chill out. Relax. Stop overreacting about silly things. If there is a problem talk it out with your man. If you had a bad day at work, decompress at home and take a little time to cool off before blowing up on your loverboy because you’re stressed the max out. In fact, if you are feeling at all dramatic about anything call one of your girlfriends. Leave your boyfriend out of your dramatic episodes.
5. Show up unannounced
Can’t you just call? Why are you showing up unannounced anyway? I know it’s a silly question. We all know you are just dropping by to make sure your man isn’t cheating or lying about his plans that day/night. Avoid dropping by unannounced. Isn’t it a little awkward too when he’s not that excited to see you there all uninvited and such.
6. Trying to be one of the guys
Men like a woman who is indeed feminine. Trying too hard to blend in with the boys is not ladylike. You are a woman so, be ladylike at all costs.
7. Introducing him to your children too soon and forcing an attachment. “Meet Your New Daddy!”
If you have children proceed with caution before introducing your child to the man in your life. Wait a few months at least before you give him the step-father agenda. Make sure he is ready for it. Make sure he is someone who is going to be around for a while. Don’t force the daddy role on your new man so fast.
8. “I love you.”
What is this like the second or third date, and you’re telling this guy you love him. Stop. You don’t love him. You hardly even know him. Give it a while before you drop this line on him unless you don’t want to go out with him again and are trying to get rid of him. (Watch How to Get Lose a Guy in 10 Days)
9. Pink Slipping the Relationship (“So liiiiike, what are we?”) too soon
Are you trying to give your relationship a title after the second date because you desperately want a “boyfriend”? Do not go home and change your relationship status on Facebook so soon. Just wait. Give it time. Allow the relationship to unfold and after a few months, you two can talk about it. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to be upfront in the beginning about what you want. Ask him what he is looking for and listen. If he says he does not want anything serious, he means it. Do not try to force him to change his mind. Take it for what it is and decide from there if it’s worth sticking around or not.
10. Flakey Francine
Don’t be a flake. If you have to change plans a couple of times fine but make it a point to reschedule them instead of just blowing him off every time the two of you make plans. Also, if you are not interested in spending time with the person, but honest about it and just let them know that you aren’t interested. It’s fine. Really.