When two people join together and begin building a relationship, the emotions and attraction may be so strong that an individual’s toxic traits may go unnoticed or, worse, ignored. As time goes on and the relationship evolves, there may be events or situations that create tension or resentment. Behaviors from your partner may leave you feeling uncomfortable, drained, or insecure. If those issues are not quickly resolved, the relationship could become extremely toxic.
Many people in a toxic relationship usually experiences poor physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. There are many people who stay in a relationship because they are afraid to be alone, forgetting that being alone is a heck of a lot better than being with someone who is abusive and not a good match for them.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, everything seems to be in steady flow. That does not mean you won’t have disagreements, but for the most part, your relationship is empowering, centered, and both parties show unconditional love, and respect for one another.
To have a thriving relationship, you must communicate opening and honestly with one another. It’s also important that both are equally invested and committed to having a healthy relationship with one another. If you are reading this article, chances are you have been questioning whether or not the relationship you’re in is normal or is it toxic and dysfunctional.
If you recognize some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself, you could be in a toxic relationship.
- Conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, and hostility. You may become afraid or uncomfortable speaking to your partner about anything because you don’t want to run the risk of being picked on, belittled, or screamed at by them. They fail to compliment you, congratulate you, or make you feel reassured and positively validated.
- Extreme jealousy. If you feel overly jealous of your partner’s success, the way someone else looks or talks to them, or vice-versa. This could become a dangerous reaction, and if you are not careful, the problem could become violent. They accuse you of things and then mentally and emotionally torture you about it even after discussing and resolving the issue.
- Holding grudges and letting resentment get in the way of making plans/keeping together, enjoying time with one another, and rehashing events of the past.
- Dishonestly and a lack of 100% trust. If you and your partner have a hard time trusting one another and you continue to lie or are being lied to, it’s hard to truly know and understand the person you’re in a relationship with. A healthy relationship is never built on lies. Keep in mind: the truth always comes out, so it’s always best to be honest in all that you do and say. To be your most authentic self, you must always tell the truth. If your partner is lying to you about their whereabouts, doesn’t want to tell you who they were with, or answer questions with an honest answer, it creates a lot of suspicions, and you deserve better than that.
- They ignore your needs. If you are always going along with what your partner wants and what they want to do, how are you taking care of yourself? The relationship has to be balanced. It is not a one-way street. In a healthy relationship, your partner connects with you on a deep level, listens to you, and provides you with what you need to feel safe, happy, and secure in the relationship.
- You walk on eggshells. Do you feel like you’re constantly holding back what you want to say or afraid you might do the wrong thing around them? That can be exhausting and is certainly not a fun way to spend any amount of time.
- Constantly worried or stressed. Every relationship experiences its phases of normal tension, but if that stress between you and your partner is ongoing, it is a serious sign that something is very off. Being on edge day after day, night after night, can have an extremely negative effect on your health and wellbeing. It’s important to pay close to what you’re feeling and why then doing something to try and resolve the tension together.
- They won’t commit equally to the relationship. It’s nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone you’re madly in love with when they won’t meet you halfway and commit to you on the same level you are devoted to them.
- They do not accept responsibility or apologize by changing their behavior for the better. If they shift any issue that you bring up and turn it back on you without resolving the initial topic you brought up, that’s never a good thing. This blatant act of disregard for your emotions and feelings is a sure sign the individual you’re with is toxic.
- Feeling insecure, scared, self-conscious, drained, blocked creatively— all of these things result from being in a toxic relationship.
REMEMBER: any time of physical, mental, or emotional abuse is never okay. If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, please call 800-799-7233 today.